quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
