No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
