Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
