The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
