So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
