I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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