I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
