Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
