is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ladies don't puke and tell
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize