Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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