I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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