I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
