You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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