To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
