My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
