i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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