I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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