So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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