Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
