home. puking in laundry basket.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
