the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We need to get me chipped asap
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
