is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Randomize
