on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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