drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Holy shit dude........stairs
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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