you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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