I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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