you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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