we're blogging at a bar
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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