how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
