I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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