No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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