I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
