How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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