Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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