Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
