Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
