I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
