did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
