Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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