I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
be right there i have to get my cape
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
