I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
