So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
