But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
