WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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