The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
