oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
