Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
