Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
