i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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