She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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