I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize
