butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
