hotel room ftw
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
pray to the hookup gods
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
