It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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