Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
