best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
