you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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