Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
