I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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